Love Your Vagina This Valentine’s Day (and Stop Obsessing Over How It Looks)

Love Your Vagina This Valentine’s Day (and Stop Obsessing Over How It Looks)


“Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance like I’ve
got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs?”
—Maya Angelou


Valentine’s Day is all about romance and intimacy, but it can also be a source of anxiety. Will he/she find me sexy? Will I be able to orgasm? Do I look “normal” down there?

This last question concerns a surprising number of women. It’s not just the perkiness of our breasts or the fullness of our hips and thighs women worry about—many of us also have anxiety about the way our vagina looks.


(Before we go on, a quick anatomy refresher: Technically, vulva is the proper name for a woman’s visible external genitals, while the vagina is the internal canal that connects the uterus to the outside world).

Body Confidence Matters

It’s probably safe to say that we all have at least one bodily feature we’d like to change or improve. But, when we’re preoccupied with how we look down south, it’s hard to fully relax and engage with our partners, and our sex lives can suffer.

Research shows that dissatisfaction among women with the appearance of their genitals can impact self-esteem and sexual wellbeing.

It’s not surprising that women have a skewed view of what constitutes “normal” female genitalia. Media imagery—especially pornography—has served to paint an unrealistic portrait of how women’s genitals look—or rather, should look. This has helped fuel insecurity among women and given rise to a subspecialty of cosmetic surgery dedicated to “perfecting” the appearance of women’s genitals. Case in point: Labiaplasties are all the rage today, and waxing, bleaching, and other procedures are on the rise, too.2,3,4


“My advice, love your labia as they are and only go for the ‘designer vagina” if discomfort,
not appearance is the issue.”
–Lauren Streicher M.D.


Here’s the truth: Women’s vulvas come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. There is no “normal” vulva/vagina. Check out the Labia Library, which dispels myths about how women’s genitals should look and includes a photo gallery illustrating the uniqueness of each woman.

Whether you choose to wax/shave or go au natural, have large labia or small, are a “Ms. Puffs” or a “Ms. Tulip,” remember the empowering words of Maya Angelou—that each woman has “diamonds at the meeting of her thighs.”

valentines day flowers

Vaginal Tightness, Bladder Leakage, and Orgasm Issues

As if worrying about how we look weren’t burdensome enough, many women also have concerns about vaginal tautness, lack of lubrication, difficulty reaching orgasm, bladder leaks, and other common issues that can affect self-confidence and intimacy.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and menopause can all take a toll on the vaginal muscles and the pelvic floor (the system of muscles that keeps the bladder, bowel, uterus, and vagina firmly in place). Vaginal delivery can especially weaken the pelvic floor muscles, leading to bladder leaks (stress urinary incontinence), decreased blood flow in the pelvic region, reduced vaginal sensation, and difficulty with orgasm.

Regardless of your age or life stage, there’s good news: Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles with regular Kegel exercises may help improve or even reverse these problems. And, since the pelvic floor muscles contract during orgasm, improving the strength of these muscles can lead to stronger, longer orgasms—a claim that is backed by science.5

Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor with the PeriCoach Kegel Exerciser

Ok, down to the nitty gritty. Wondering how to tighten your vag fast? PeriCoach can help.

A vaginally-insertable biofeedback Kegel device that you squeeze against, PeriCoach guides you in clenching the right muscles, and it pairs with your smartphone, tracking your progress in real-time. Start doing Kegel exercises today for stronger orgasms tomorrow. Learn more about the benefits of Kegel exercises and how PeriCoach works.


Here’s to loving your body just the way it is this
Valentine’s Day and every day.